Back on the horse..
May 23, 2011
Dear World,
So it's been way to long since I've checked in with you. Truth is I haven't been doin shit. I swear I'm my own worst enemy. Just recently Google AdSense disabled my account. Was I clicking on my own ads? maybe a little. But shit, I was just tryna move things forward a little faster. Anyways, that got me all discouraged like my master plan wasn't working. Anthony finally got his guard card in, and he's all excited about getting a job. I'm like, maybe I should just get a job. I'm still struggling on the mic, I haven't lost any weight, and now, I can forget about any money I had hoped would begin to support my business. I'm like who do I even think I am? I'm 23 with two kids, struggling to pay my rent and I think I can just up and start my own entertainment company with a hand full of recording equipment and intermediate recording skills. It would be really easy to go down hill and give up from here, and for a little while I really was like, ugh, what am I gonna do with my life? But then I thought, and then I prayed. See the only reason I started this is because I really believed I could make it happen. With God all things are possible, so I'm like, I can be a Super Star! It's 11:22 Sunday night and I'm back on the horse. Scratch what I was supposed to have done, I've got a new plan moving forward.
1. I have got to get this weight off. It is killin me, I am way to sexy inside to not feel it on the outside. I took some video shots of me in some swim wear, yesterday, while me and the studio fam were at the river, no bueno. That's just not fair0 to me so I've got to get it under control. Starting right now [fuck tomorrow's] I'm on a 30 day weight loss challenge. I'm tryna loose 20 pounds in the next 30 days. That'll make a big difference in my life. It'll be much easier on the camera, but most importantly, it'll be much easier on my self esteem. No more 'stuck in a ruts' I'm sexy!
2. I'm focusing on the music. The money will come, but for now, I will just let God provide. He knows my heart, He knows what I'm tryna do. He's given me the gift and the drive so there's no reason to worry about the road. My immediate goal for THE Studio House is to start performing. I want to start connecting with people on a real level. The mic is scarey, honestly, but I come a live on stage. I love to have the attention of a crowd, It's the greatest high and I just wanna move an audience [hopefully in a hot sexy body ;].
and 3. well my kids need me. It's so hard tryna pursue your dreams when your main focus should be on building up your children. They're not gonna stay little, and they only get one chance at this life just as I. It's my responsibility to make sure that they get the best chance, and the best start in life begins with a loving relationship with their parents. I refuse to be continuously distracted by my desires. I need balance. So my new rule is that, mommy doesn't work until 2:00 o'clock. I'll check my stats in the morning, but then it's kids all they way until nap time. After nap a little play, dinner and chill-axin. As long as I manage my time I'll be able to do all the things I wanna do.
Alright, it's gettin late, and I'm gettin hungry which means I need to get in bed.
Until the next time [which will be sooner than later]
So it's been way to long since I've checked in with you. Truth is I haven't been doin shit. I swear I'm my own worst enemy. Just recently Google AdSense disabled my account. Was I clicking on my own ads? maybe a little. But shit, I was just tryna move things forward a little faster. Anyways, that got me all discouraged like my master plan wasn't working. Anthony finally got his guard card in, and he's all excited about getting a job. I'm like, maybe I should just get a job. I'm still struggling on the mic, I haven't lost any weight, and now, I can forget about any money I had hoped would begin to support my business. I'm like who do I even think I am? I'm 23 with two kids, struggling to pay my rent and I think I can just up and start my own entertainment company with a hand full of recording equipment and intermediate recording skills. It would be really easy to go down hill and give up from here, and for a little while I really was like, ugh, what am I gonna do with my life? But then I thought, and then I prayed. See the only reason I started this is because I really believed I could make it happen. With God all things are possible, so I'm like, I can be a Super Star! It's 11:22 Sunday night and I'm back on the horse. Scratch what I was supposed to have done, I've got a new plan moving forward.
1. I have got to get this weight off. It is killin me, I am way to sexy inside to not feel it on the outside. I took some video shots of me in some swim wear, yesterday, while me and the studio fam were at the river, no bueno. That's just not fair0 to me so I've got to get it under control. Starting right now [fuck tomorrow's] I'm on a 30 day weight loss challenge. I'm tryna loose 20 pounds in the next 30 days. That'll make a big difference in my life. It'll be much easier on the camera, but most importantly, it'll be much easier on my self esteem. No more 'stuck in a ruts' I'm sexy!
2. I'm focusing on the music. The money will come, but for now, I will just let God provide. He knows my heart, He knows what I'm tryna do. He's given me the gift and the drive so there's no reason to worry about the road. My immediate goal for THE Studio House is to start performing. I want to start connecting with people on a real level. The mic is scarey, honestly, but I come a live on stage. I love to have the attention of a crowd, It's the greatest high and I just wanna move an audience [hopefully in a hot sexy body ;].
and 3. well my kids need me. It's so hard tryna pursue your dreams when your main focus should be on building up your children. They're not gonna stay little, and they only get one chance at this life just as I. It's my responsibility to make sure that they get the best chance, and the best start in life begins with a loving relationship with their parents. I refuse to be continuously distracted by my desires. I need balance. So my new rule is that, mommy doesn't work until 2:00 o'clock. I'll check my stats in the morning, but then it's kids all they way until nap time. After nap a little play, dinner and chill-axin. As long as I manage my time I'll be able to do all the things I wanna do.
Alright, it's gettin late, and I'm gettin hungry which means I need to get in bed.
Until the next time [which will be sooner than later]
Posted by Janiece Thomas. Posted In : Journal